It was Roger who first suggested we start looking for her. He had heard something from a friend of a friend and that was enough for him. I didn’t believe him at first. But Roger has a way of being very convincing.
So, we started looking for her. At first it was all just research. Hours, and days, and weeks. I started dreaming about her. She was all I could think of. It was good they were my only friends. I don’t think I could have maintained any other relationships.
At last it was time to actually look for her. After all that research, we were certain. Overly confident. That was bad. We did not allow for the possibility we were wrong, did not even consider it. But we were. Disappointment doesn’t even come close. We were all angry and we took it out on each other. That could have been it and indeed we almost did give up straight away. However, within a few days we were researching again, double and triple checking, and preparing ourselves for more failures.
Failure followed failure. At first, we were ok with that. We had prepared ourselves this time, and we felt like we were making progress, coming closer, just missing her. Failure took a toll though. Some did leave us. Life beyond the search ceased to exist for those of us that remained.
It happened to be completely innocuous. It was another possible lead, which was just what we considered an unconfirmed failure. Spirits were low, all passion was gone. We were like junkies just doing what we had to. We opened the door, and there she was.